Happy New Year

Hi all,

I’ve been away but back! I hope your holiday and new year has been great so far. I’ll be traveling soon….I’ll be sharing pictures as well. Traveling for me is always a major process. First, ever since I was little, flying in an airplane has been the most painful experience. During landing and takeoff my ears hurt so much (trust me I’ve tried everything..the blowing through your noise and yawning makes it worse, and chewing gum doesnt work). I’ll be going with family which can be stressful. Everyone wants to know about everything and be with everyone 24/7. Don’t get me wrong, my family is great, but big and everyone wants to plan the trip so I know there will be tons of fighting, but hopefully it will be enjoyable!

As long as I have my music and camera it will be an enjoyable, relaxing vacation.

Until next time,

Shhgirl

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You Are Not Psychic!

One major weakness of mine, is at times, I think I know what other people are thinking. Maybe its because growing up people would feed negative comments to me or criticize the way I act, because its different from everyone else. However, if you’re like me, there comes a time in your life when you can’t blame past events. What you make of yourself today is only based on your decisions.

Unfortunately I have to remind my self this everyday. At times when I am around strangers or new people I feel as those I already know what they must be thinking. It usually happens when I’ve been quiet and everyone else is talking. In my mind Im having an inner battle “oh why aren’t you talking” “someones going to say something” “why can’t you be more outgoing”…. these thoughts keep running in my head (am I the only one? ). For others it could be “Im not good looking” “they think Im dumb” “why am I embarrassing”, etc. We all have those voices in our head. But why? We are not psychic!

If we all have these thoughts then we are only concentrating on how people must perceive us, instead of focusing on how we feel around the people around us. You want to surround yourself with people who you connect with and connect with you. By switching those thoughts instead of saying “they must think Im dumb” say “am I enjoying this conversation” or “how are they making me feel”.

If you can change thoughts, then you can change ideas, then you can change habits, then you change behavior. I just have to remember that I am not psychic, I’ll leave that to Marvel and DC!

Until next time,

Shhgirl

Challenge Accepted: Get to know those closet to you!

So, a couple of weeks I challenged everyone to get to know someone in your life that you do not really know. Sometimes that can be someone you’re related to you, a friend around you, or even a co-worker. In my case, I decided to get to know a co-worker of mine.

Everyday my co-worker we say hi in the morning, talk about work, but we never really had a conversation outside the superficial small talk. Two weeks ago, I came up to his office to his surprise, and asked how his weekend was. I could tell he was fairly surprised since we never really talk. Literally in the 10 minutes we talked I learnt so much that I would have never expected!

The next day, he came into my office and we continued the conversation. This continued everyday, checking in on our daily lives.

I never thought we would start to be close friends. It has made work so much more enjoyable. You know, these are people you see more than your family or friends, might as well get to know them a lot more.

So, have any of you tried this? Let me know how it went.

Until next time

Shhgirl

Why Introverts Struggle in College

If you’ve attended any american college (maybe other universities outside the states are like this) you know that verbal participation is a major percentage of your grade.

For one of my courses, verbal participation counted for 50% of my entire course grade. This is crazy to me. Even if I read the textbook and give my complete attention to my professor during lectures, my grade will suffer because I am speaking less than others.

 Personally I engage by listening to people. Changing the way I am for a class, cannot happen in a semester.

Someone next to me could be on Facebook the entire time ,while the professor is talking, and then raise their hand and say whatever and that person would receive a higher grade than me. I just don’t think this is right, and having universities geared to one type of person really alienates an entire group of people…and hurts job prospects because verbal participation can hurt someones grade. I understand that professors need to know that students have done their assignments, but there are other ways. So, what should schools do?

Instead of focusing on verbal participation allow students who engage by listening to write a report, it doesn’t have to be long, but professors are able to see they have been doing the work. This way of teaching allows all personality types to learn effectively and showcase their understanding.

If this can make it to one professor and change their way of thinking, some student out there will benefit immensely.

Until next time

Shhgirl

You’re one of those introverted people, right?

Hey all,

Just got back from a trip, it was interesting to say the least. I only knew one other person the rest were complete strangers, who all knew each other (yay my favorite thing).

When people don’t know who you are, its a lot harder to make conversation, unless its small talk…which I hate. But you know me, I smiled and engaged in conversation, it was a great first day. Then the next day came, and I was more reserved. While the entire group was socializing and catching up I was sitting by myself.  I didn’t mind it as much, but I knew the others did.

You can just tell when others are talking about you, especially when you just enter the room. And then the funniest thing happened. Some guy came up to me and said “you’re one of those introverted people, I saw something about them on Youtube”. I was completely stunned, I just nodded my head in agreement almost busting out laughing. He went on to tell me that the others thought I was judging them or didn’t even like them. At first I thought, wow, I feel psychic haha. He then continued to tell me how he was shy, but tried to  be around a lot of people to hide his shyness.

Anyways, that guy did something for me I couldn’t; he let others understand me. I appreciated what he did because he broke the ice amongst as all. We started talking about who we really all were. I’m not saying that we will all be best friends but he didn’t let a difference of character allow him to judge someone, he asked, he listened, and by doing that he gave others a chance to be open as well.

I really think thats what we need to do as people, sit and listen to each other. What we might see on the surface might just be a mask, a shell, a wall, or even a misunderstanding. I would never had guessed what some of these people had told me..so I guess I judge as well. So, this week, I am going to get to know one person in my life that I don’t really know, and I challenge everyone to do the same. I will let you know how it goes!

Until next time

Shhgirl 

To The Teachers That Made Me Insecure

Teachers have so much power, especially those that teach young children. Teachers inspire us, construct our way of thinking, and they can even act as second parents. I really admire what they do for children everyday, but with great power comes great responsibility (love me some Marvel!).

When I was in elementary school all my teachers would give us report cards with messages to our parents. I would do well in school, but there was always the “she’s smart, but quiet”. Receiving these comments when you are in 2nd grade and  don’t know about personality types or how people can be different, you tend to only hear “my teacher thinks I’m not normal”.

During class teachers would make sure to call on me or bring me to the front of the class to present. I started to get anxiety because I knew why they were picking on me and I kept thinking, maybe everyone in the class thinks the same. I began to think I was so different from everyone else, I didn’t want to participate in discussions anymore I felt people were judging me.

My teachers would constantly say that when you grow up you won’t be able to get a job if you’re quiet. I remember I used to raise my hand in my younger years when I had something to say, but completely stopped. When adults keep beating you down about being shy or quiet you start to believe thats all you are.

Seeing students who were outgoing and loud during class I tried to emulate them..thinking, maybe then my teachers would like me. However, if anyone has tried to be someone they’re not, knows it can be draining. I knew who I was, but also knew that people didn’t accept me. When you stop loving all yourself and try to be other people you become unhappy. It took me sometime to say its okay to be me.

So, to my teachers that said I couldn’t I want to let you know that I have, and I don’t think I would have been able to accomplish all I have without being who I am.

I used to think I was the only one, but hopefully if you read this you know that they’re others like you who have succeeded, even if they are not as loud as their neighbor.

Until next time

Shhgirl

The “Are You Okay” Question

Oh boy if I was given a dollar for the number of times I’ve been asked “Are you okay” I would have been a millionaire by now! For the outgoing or extroverted types many people think its easy to tell if they are having fun, as long as they are talking a lot they must be having fun right? Wrong, this is their personality type, no matter where they might be. For instance, one of my friends she’s exactly like this; always the life of the party. However, she will secretly whisper to me at events this is boring or whats a good excuse to leave; even when everyone around her thinks she if having a good time. While at the same event I get “are you okay?”.

Now, there are two types of people that will say this:

1. The caretaker

Who are they: Those that genuinely want to know if you are having fun. These types will say this to everyone around, they really that want to make sure that everyone is okay.

When will they say it: Most likely if they are hosting or if they invited you.

How will they say it: Pulling you aside or first starting a conversation with you to make sure you are okay.

2. The superiors

Who are they:They want others to see them as cool or superior, the type of person everyone should strive to be. Watch out for these folks, unlike the first group of people they really don’t care if you are okay!

When will they say it:Sometimes they will say this if the conversation is slowing down and you are his/her next topic.

How will they say it: They will ask this question in front of everyone, making sure everyone hears them.

So, to those that feel that they ask this question a lot where do you think you would fit? Here’s a tip: just start a simple conversation or ask us a question directly and please don’t say this in front of everyone, it doesn’t feel good when everyone stares at you and thinks you’re not enjoying yourself.

Until next time

Shhgirl